I'm not that evil, right?

Am I a bad person?

I've done some pretty bad things in my short time on this dusty rock. I've done some illegal things, nasty things, wrong things. I've also done good things, and things that are neither good nor bad, like you know, sit down.

I think, deep down, I'm not a good person. I would do a lot of things to get to where I want to be in life, I won't say what I wouldn't do, it'd be a very short, disgusting list. To do such things would certainly label me a bad person, but what would that matter if I had everything I wanted. Is this why people hate the rich? They have to do bad things to get there? Maybe people resent the fact that their conscience wouldn't let them do things like that. I don't know, but I would do pretty much anything to achieve my dream life, after all, I know it would make me a very very happy man.

Some people would call me a bad person for the condition I am born with. Many people hate homosexuals. The word sounds horrible, they are still openly ridiculed on television, it's considered a bad thing for men (especially) to be gay. Being attracted to men does not make a bad person, acting on it does. This may sound weird, but I know right from wrong. Penguins, for instance, are a species where homosexuality is observed, but animals (having no conscious thought) can not tell right from wrong.

I really don't mind being a bad person. To enjoy my life, psychologically I can not be good.

Based on this, I guess I can never be good unless I completely change the way I live and reject the way I have acted previously. I don't want to, I don't think it would make me happier. I have to be who my brain tells me to be. I'd go mad otherwise. I don't want to be fixed.

I have to accept the fact that I'll never be a good person.

Dan